How To Deal With Disappointment

By Abdulkadir Rafiat

Learning to deal with disappointment is part of a fulfilling life. Disappointment is natural and normal, and everyone will experience it to some extent in their life because our expectations often don’t align with what actually happens.

Sometimes life deals us a difficult hand, and events and trials arise that we have no control over. In other cases it is our own actions themselves that cause our trials. Regardless of the nature of our trials, difficulties and disappointments are a part of life’s journey and how we deal with them will largely determine the quality of our life. 

It is very possible that our disappointment is due to the fact that we have an internal “rule” that is disempowering. An internal rule is a set of circumstances that must be present in order for us to feel happy or successful. For example, if we have a rule that says we need to be perfect, it is likely that we will spend a large amount of time feeling sad, disappointed and frustrated, since no one is ever perfect. Also, if we have a rule that requires something that is out of our control in order to feel happy or successful, then it is very likely that we will end up being disappointed. So when we feel disappointed, it is wise to review, and possibly redefine, our rules. 

Our “why” is the reason that we are seeking a particular goal. Often a why is multilayered and multidimensional. There is more than just one reason why we want to accomplish a particular goal. Our why gives us internal strength and persistence. It also gives us courage to face disappointment and start again. When we feel down, or disappointed, or discouraged, it is helpful to remember the reasons why we are committed to a path in the first place. When we revisit those reasons, we will likely renew our commitment and not get hung up on the disappointment of the moment.