Reality 😃😃😃

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Dearest, Sometimes, there are simply no words that can adequately express the depth of a person's feelings that are plagued by regret, guilt, and sadness for a wrong done. This is my predicament now for hurting you so badly when you trusted me so. I want to tell you I'm sorry a thousand times, but I know my apology can't undo what has been done or ease the pain in your heart. However, it also pains me to see you suffering as a result of my misbehavior. Guilt burns in my heart thinking of all the hurt that you must have felt because of my recklessness. Each time that I think of you, I get angry with myself because I can imagine all the bitter tears you must have shed when you learned of my indiscretion. I'm feeling like this because there is still love for you glowing in my heart. Otherwise, I wouldn't have cared one bit and moved on. But I don't want this relationship to end. I still care deeply about you and love you with all my ...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat        My friends ask me to do social stuff and i lie and say im busy when really i just dont feel like seeing people. I prefer to just stay home alone and have an early night. Its cheaper and no effort involved. Sometimes i do go but most of the time i just cant be bothered. I lie so that they dont think im anti social which i kind of am but thats just how i feel. I find people annoying mostly. Cant be bothered dealing with them and listening to their mostly meaningless crap. Also if i tell the truth they will try to convince me to go.

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Hey Guys,           Basically i'm in my 20's and i can't get a boyfriend (technically in the past, i've had boyfriends not all that long or serious).The last one which I thought would be serious, he didn't care about me, blocked my number and later for someone else and never spoke to me again.                        I just feel like everyone is ashamed and embarrassed of me or something i'm struggling alot in life but this is something which has been lately getting me down because i don't really get it, its hard to show this via text and with the type of post i'm writing, but most people who meet me say they think i'm a pretty attractive girl get called cute alot, but no one seems to want me.              I can be quite fussy because i want someone i'm attracted to and feel chemistry with and that rarely happens lately, 2 guys i was seein...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Hey Guys,               I've anger issue, easily annoyed, curses a lot and have occasional dark, disturbing fantasy I would love to inflict on certain people.               However, When I am around friends and strangers, I am not being my true self. I act very nice, friendly and happy-go-lucky. The facade is convincing to the point some of them treated me like a doormat and a loser. I do this because I know I'll have no friends and they'll hate me if they ever know my true personality.              One day, this one dipshit who occasionally disturbed me went too far. He humiliated me and made me look like a fool in front of many people there because of this sweet person facade I pulled off. I can't take it anymore for faking myself and raged in front of them. I cursed him profusely and kinda lost control of my attitude. Until then, people were shocked...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Hey guys,                   Have anyone ever thought that money isn't neccesary and just is bad? That people have to be away for 7-72 hours to get money? Think of this, a world, no money, everything is free, the reward is a thanks. Seriously this may sound edgy but sometimes i like a thanks more than money.            I don't know what you think but i think stress will decrease. No edgy drug deals, no bills. Sometimes these thoughts come to me.           Is it even a normal thing to think about? Let me know in the comment section below 👇👇👇👇👇👇

By Abdulkadir Rafiat       Hey Guys,                    At this point I'm just done I'm sick and tired of it's making me depressed and pissed off.              I'm an adult and I don't need to put up with anyone's crap at this point I thought I'd be making my own choices but nope it's still the same crap.              Is it normal to feel this way? Drop your opinions in the comment section below👇👇👇👇

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Dear Individual, It’s been over eleven years since you raped me, yet it often feels as if no time has passed at all. The memory of the weight of your body pinning mine down, the scent of your sickening sweet cologne, the rough sensation of your unshaven face rubbing my cheeks and neck raw as you slammed your hips into me…these are things I cannot forget. You see, when you raped me, you didn’t just violate me, you stole something I was not yet ready to give freely. You didn’t just take away my innocence, you forced your depravity on me, then accused me of being a poor lover because I was not “into it”. You laughed in my face when I told you to stop while pushing you away, and insisted that you knew I wanted you because I had “flirted” with you just hours before (newsflash: not every woman that looks your way is flirting with you, and if she were in fact flirting, that does not equal an open door to the most intimate part of her body). At the time, I was tr...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Hey guys,           It's a Blessed Sunday and I guess I'm  Just curious to see how common serious suicidal thoughts are and where I fit into the numbers.          Make it fun by sliding into the comment section.

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Hey guys,                 Instead of committing murder, I just visualize it in my head, it brings relief, it feels good knowing they are dead at the moment.           What do you think? ??? 

By Abdulkadir Rafiat         It's funny because I'm not all that anti-social, I'm actually quite good at talking with people and I do still enjoy social things from time to time.         It seems as if I'm usually put in the social scenarios only 20% of the time by my desire and design, most of the time it's just circumstance and I make the best of it because I'm a happy kind of girl. But when left to my own planning, I usually just choose to be alone. The thing is, I really enjoy being alone a lot, and I feel as though I definitely seek it out more than anyone I know. when being social, I'm more of a one on one kind of girl. Not always, but I mostly dread larger social get-togethers, holidays, parties, etc.. Sure I made some friends on trips and hung out with fellow travelers, but the majority of the time it was just me, myself, and I. I've grown a bit used to being a stranger in a strange land, meeting people enjoying time togeth...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat       Hey guys,    What is the most deepest opinion on something you can say? Doesn't have to be dark or anything private. It can be about life or anything really. Yes I know this isn't a "IIN" question.

By Abdulkadir Rafiat          So, when I say "messy head" I just mean that your thoughts are very disorganized.          Okay, I have some weird habit of connecting current things happening to past events, even if there are no obvious connections (most of the time, there isn't a connection at all).               For example, I could be sitting in class, and suddenly it'll feel like this memory from my babysitter's house, remembering that I'm standing by the window, looking out (mind you, I'd be in class, nowhere near the window). Does that make sense? I'll make connections between hanging out with friends to sitting at my cousin's house, connections between the movie Wall-E and a clown nose, connections between drinking coffee to highway signs.                It's hard for me to exist sometimes when I feel like I'm constantly being pulled into my ow...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat         So my best friend is with this guy, who encourages her to go out and have random hook ups! She will go to the bar and leave with another guy! It's not an open relationship at least Not on his part!         In my opinion he couldn't possibly really love her to not only allow but encourage this behavior.          Is it normal guys???? ?

By Abdulkadir Rafiat          I had a friend, he was there for me through a lot. I had a boyfriend who seemed to be off and on at the time and I was ignorant to my friend's feelings. Personally, I feel as if I regret not choosing him but now me and my boyfriend are stable and we're doing really well (I also don't know if I should apologize in respect of my boyfriend). I want to apologize to that friend, even though I know I technically don't owe him anything. I want to apologize to him, as he is seemingly the perfect guy, smart, kind, strong. We stopped contact for nearly a year now but the guilt still hurts me. I truly want to apologize but I don't know if it'd open closed wounds or make it seem like I'm just full of myself-Apologize for being ignorant of his feelings and using him as a crutch when I needed someone but not being there for him-. I really want to open our relationship up again but only as friends. I know that much is impossible.  ...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat        It's been a year to our relationship. Sometimes I feel like we're loosing the grip. First month he was so nice to me, he used to compliment my appearance.        Second month; Every time he used to directly or indirectly compare me with his female friends . I used to cry.. stupid, right? Very often he says he wants me to learn how to take care of myself.  I'M sure he has a long list of my flaws. "chubby girls are great" "just look at you.. not at all girly" I've been hearing this for quite some time now.          I've noticed him checking out other girls too. I've lost confidence in myself.. I really don't want to go anywhere with him, I'm kinda embarrassed of my appearance.                     What should I do? I don't wanna lose this guy either. Advise please!

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Let me explain to you With the Help Of An Example : A Rael Reltionship Is teh oen whre---- Thre is cmplete understnding and trsut betwen yuo and yuor partnre (whether your loved one, bestie, sister, brother or any other close person) Yuo aer sad becaus yuor frind is sad and yuo do crazy thngs to maek them laugh Now just look at this message Most of the spellings of this message are wrong But still you guys could read it perfectly If you want a true and real relationship just ignore the mistakes don't let your misunderstandings grow don't let your ego come in between (but that doesn't mean you should forget your self worth) But once the limit is crossed and every nerve of your body feels hurted Just walk away A writing for all my readers. 

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Hey Guys,               Wondering how I can make my breasts look bigger , without anyone knowing I’m stuffing. Drop your comments 😀😀😀😀

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Life is hard; we all know that. But why is it some chose to be bitter, but then others get better.  Is it because the people who got better had more support? Were they raised with better morals?  Or are people who get bitter after hardships just losers?

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Okay so there's this guy I Met for the first time  and since meeting him I just thought wow he's amazing, his personality made me fall for him right away. That night we exchanged contact details (Instagram) and the next time I saw him was the next day. Point is I really like this guy I've only met him twice. Now I don't know what to do, I've no clue when I'll see her again to ask her out and this girl is too much of a catch to just let go.   Help!! I need advice I can't get him out of my head. I tried texting him but that was like yesterday which is kinda odd, anyway advice is appreciated. Thank you .

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Well, I always feel sad about the past, like I will sit in the night and feel sad about past events from my life, like whenI felt joy but I will even feel sad about sad events, it's like I miss the sad and happy events and it make me feel really sad. Is it normal to always look back?     Your advice please