Are my desires to want to be alone normal?

By Abdulkadir Rafiat

        It's funny because I'm not all that anti-social, I'm actually quite good at talking with people and I do still enjoy social things from time to time.

        It seems as if I'm usually put in the social scenarios only 20% of the time by my desire and design, most of the time it's just circumstance and I make the best of it because I'm a happy kind of girl. But when left to my own planning, I usually just choose to be alone.

The thing is, I really enjoy being alone a lot, and I feel as though I definitely seek it out more than anyone I know.

when being social, I'm more of a one on one kind of girl. Not always, but I mostly dread larger social get-togethers, holidays, parties, etc..

Sure I made some friends on trips and hung out with fellow travelers, but the majority of the time it was just me, myself, and I.

I've grown a bit used to being a stranger in a strange land, meeting people enjoying time together but then leaving the state, because my travel and me now living in a different state then the one I grew up in, a lot of my early high school friends have drifted away, or rather I drifted away, -a little bit of both.

I have some new "friends" but they don't seem as close as the ones i had in my high school days, I feel most border closer on the acquaintance side of the spectrum.

I've had girlfriends, but never really long-term ones
I wish I could find a girl that is as comfortable to be with as it is being alone.

I guess it's a bit of a ramble, But all in all, I just feel like I simultaneously want people but also want to be alone all the time.


Any thoughts, stories, insults, advice, jokes, insight, questions are appreciated!