DON’Ts For 2019

By Abdulkadir Rafiat

For me, I will say 2018 was certainly unpredictable. Promotions, new responsibilities, etc. This was good. On the other hand, personal struggles including the big fight to stay mentally healthy were amplified. I can’t complain though. Every year comes with its challenges. Even the really good years. Everything on my mind now is how to have a fabulous  2019.

1. Don’t Carry The Failures Of Last Year Forward

I know it is hard to shake off things that did not work out. But give yourself the permission to open a new sheet.

If possible, a new book. It is okay to fail but it is not ok to use that as a reason not to try again.

2. Don’t Make New Year Resolutions

Something about the ‘r’ word sets us up for failure. Truth is, you are the same person on December 31st 2018 that you will be on 1st January 2019.

Nothing really happens overnight. The sun will not set and rise with magical powers the next day.

3. Don’t Spend All Your Time On Social Media

I have learnt that there is a sneaky toxicity that pools on social media. The more time you spend on it, the more you stand to be affected by the poison.

To be specific, no one needs to be washed constantly with a barrage of opinions, pictures, pretty captions, fake news, people’s successes, violence in real time, faux likes and heart shapes and just mindless entertainment in the form of memes, skits and games.

Allow yourself a break to breathe and focus on yourself. Spend time with yourself.

4. Don’t Stay In Places And Spaces That Make You Feel Insignificant

If you are ignored and uninspired and unappreciated, love yourself enough to exit.

Don’t be afraid of that line; “Makinde has left the group.” Even if it is a family or church group. If you are not growing, then be going. Did you see that? I rhymed. Self high-five.

5. Don’t Berate Or Underrate Yourself

Over-promise and find ways to deliver. The world is mostly unkind. It will be nasty till you take charge of your narrative.

When you are successfully astride the tamed horse, the world will hate you but can never say it to your face. Affirm to yourself who you are. Don’t wait for positive comments and likes.

Don’t let the numbers dictate how you see yourself. Numbers do not mean you are liked. Three million followers are a composition of true fans, haters, competitors, gossips, make dem no say I no follow people etc

Let the only truth you abide by be the one you know about yourself and for yourself.

6. Don’t Believe Everything You See

Understand that a story rarely unfolds in full form. A picture or a video clip can be a complete misrepresentation of reality.

Example – The family eating pizza and ice cream with their “Housemaid” not allowed to eat with them turned out to be false. Withhold commenting till at least 48 hours when a story breaks.

7. Stop Videoing People To Get It Posted On Social Media

This is the cousin to the point above. STOP VIDEOING PEOPLE with the sole aim of embarrassing or judging them.

It does not make you look good. If you must, then balance it with a video of you at your lowest.

8. Don’t Give Up On Your Dreams

As clichéd as this sounds, it always remains true. I don’t mean keep gnawing at a washed-out bone.

The dream doesn’t have to be the same way it was when you were five. A version of your dream is still possible.