Reality 😃😃😃

Hi guys, I’ve been away for a while due to reasons very personal to me😔 but now I’m back, so please watch this space☺️☺️🙏🏾🙏🏾 Quick one:          My entire life I never had any self confidence or self worth.  Is this normal by any means? Any advice for me🙏🏾🙏🏾

By Abdulkadir Rafiat  1. Put your kids in schools you can afford      because expensive      schools don't       guarantee good      results. Just ensure      they attend a good      affordable school 2. Rent apartments you      can pay for     conveniently. Don’t live      in a house you struggle      to pay yearly. 3. Let’s plan our lives and      live within our means.      Save more and spend      less. 4. Some women buy food      for their children every      morning before going      to school or even for      the whole family, do      you know it’s cheaper      to cook at home? 5. Some people don’t      earn much...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Hey Guys,                  I was born in the 20th Century and I see a lot of people like my family (specially my fathers and grandparents) say that this generation (21st Century) is worse than the other ones because everyone is adicted to mobile phones , computers , consoles, cyber fraud, hard drugs,  smoking,  partying...             I do think that I have been born in a good generation, what do you guys think? Use the comment section below 👇👇👇

By Abdulkadir Rafiat HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS YOU NEED TO TEACH YOUR CHILD(REN) AT EARLY AGE: 1: Warn your Girl Child Never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including uncles. 2: Avoid Getting Dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself. 3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband' 4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves. 5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult. 6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently ask lots of questions from your child. 7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you don't, the society will teach them the wrong values. 8: It...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat For me, I will say 2018 was certainly unpredictable. Promotions, new responsibilities, etc. This was good. On the other hand, personal struggles including the big fight to stay mentally healthy were amplified. I can’t complain though. Every year comes with its challenges. Even the really good years. Everything on my mind now is how to have a fabulous  2019. 1. Don’t Carry The Failures Of Last Year Forward I know it is hard to shake off things that did not work out. But give yourself the permission to open a new sheet. If possible, a new book. It is okay to fail but it is not ok to use that as a reason not to try again. 2. Don’t Make New Year Resolutions Something about the ‘r’ word sets us up for failure. Truth is, you are the same person on December 31st 2018 that you will be on 1st January 2019. Nothing really happens overnight. The sun will not set and rise with magical powers the next day. 3. Don’t Spend All Your Time On Social Medi...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat It's still the beginning of  a new year and If you really care about Growth, Progress & Upliftment in 2019, then below are list of DO’s (The things you should do) to achieve all your heart desires in the new year. 1. Leave This Country If you have the opportunity to leave this country, please do. Be a patriot from afar. Send dollars and pounds home. Don’t feel bad. 2. Create A Goal List (Don’t Do New Year Resolution) Rather than a list of resolutions, create a goal list (a less morbid version of a bucket list). I mean tangible and measurable new things. They could be places to go. Foods to try. It could be going back to school or even online certificate courses. You could learn how to code or even become an Excel expert. It could be a cooking or baking class. It does not matter how old you are. Whether you learn that new thing or not, you will still get old either ways. 3. Become An Expert At Something It could be in line with you...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat          A  New Year  is the  time  or day at which a new  calendar year  begins and the calendar's  year count  increments by one. So it's 2019 and here are few things everyone should try to adjust to:  *1. Pursue something*. Don't walk in the entire 365 days without having something particular in mind to achieve. Start a building project, buy a car, pay some school fees, start some job. Just do something!  *2. Walk with people wiser or stronger than you*. In 2019, surround yourself with people who will inspire you, who will make you feel you can do better, who will challenge you on.  *3.Check your dressing or appearance*. Don't put on 'anything' just because it covers your nakedness. Your appearance tells a lot about you. Iron your dress neatly. Don't wear dresses in the name of fashion or trend . Wear more decent but fitting dresses. This is the slogan: Simple but Classy. ...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Forgiveness is the act of compassionately releasing the desire to punish someone or yourself for an offense. It’s a state of grace, nothing you can force or pretend. There are no short cuts. Mistakenly, some people , wanting to be “ spiritual ,” have prematurely tried to forgive after someone emotionally knifes them in the gut. First, you must feel  anger  before you can begin to forgive. I gradually guide patients to the large-heartedness of forgiving injuries either caused by others or self-inflicted. Revenge is the desire to get even when someone does you wrong. It’s natural to feel angry, to say “I’m not going to let that **** get away with this,” whatever “this” is. However, revenge reduces you to your worst self, puts you on the same level with those spiteful people we claim to abhor. Additionally, studies have shown that revenge increases  stress  and impairs  health  and immunity. Sure, if someone hits you with a stick, yo...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat L earning to deal with disappointment is part of a fulfilling life. Disappointment is natural and normal, and everyone will experience it to some extent in their life because our expectations often don’t align with what actually happens. Sometimes life deals us a difficult hand, and events and trials arise that we have no control over. In other cases it is our own actions themselves that cause our trials. Regardless of the nature of our trials, difficulties and disappointments are a part of life’s journey and how we deal with them will largely determine the quality of our life.  It is very possible that our disappointment is due to the fact that we have an internal “rule” that is disempowering. An internal rule is a set of circumstances that must be present in order for us to feel happy or successful. For example, if we have a rule that says we need to be perfect, it is likely that we will spend a large amount of time feeling sad, disappointed and frus...

By Abdulkadir Rafiat Nigerian is the most religious country but still we face a lot of problem. In a family union, the parents decide most time the religious beliefs the family should follow. But in a situation when your child is up to the age of reasoning and decide he/she wants to practice a religion different from yours (the parents). Will you allow it?

        There are loads of promises men make when they’re in a relationship. Unfortunately, many of these promises are going to be broken. I’m not saying men are liars! if they think a promise will make you happy, they’ll make it – even if it’s not realistic.  Here are some promises men make, but rarely keep. 1.     PROMISES ABOUT NOT BEING JEALOUS        If you expect a man to keep this promise, you’re asking him to actively stop himself from feeling a valid emotion. Most of the time, this kind of promise doesn’t work out, but it’s very common among promises men make.       Instead of making your man promise not to show any signs of jealousy,  talk about how he can work through these feelings .  Make sure he knows he has no reason to be jealous and that he can trust you 100%.   2.     PROMISES MEN MAKE ABOUT CHECKING OUT OTHER PEOPLE   ...

       I came to a point in my life where I was not happy and could not figure out why. So,I began using gratitude and a number of positive things happened in my life: 1. Self-Awareness        Gratitude made me more aware of all that others were doing for me. I began to see not what I lacked, but what I was gaining throughout life.  2. Shifting from Selfishness to Selflessness       Selflessness directly correlates with one’s level of happiness. I began to give to others more and more and then received a happy mindset. I even made new, strong friendships that I believe will be long lasting. 3. Sense of Community and Belonging        My new sense of community with humans and with nature also brought about a new and improved sense of self.  4. Creativity           My desire to be creative and expressive increased exponentially. The outpouring of artwork and w...

You can't guarantee that anyone will be happy every minute of every day, but if you knew you could add more joy to your parents' lives, wouldn't you do it? Here are 17 ways to get started: 1. Talk to them when you're upset, but call them again when you're feeling better. In an ideal world, you wouldn't have days where you call them sobbing that your life sucks and everything is terrible when the problem is mostly that you're overtired, but because these days are inevitable, your parents want you to feel comfortable calling to vent/discuss/continue sobbing. When you do, though, they will worry, and they won't know you calmed down an hour later unless you call back to tell them. 2. Accept their generosity. You're an adult, and with any luck gainfully employed. They shouldn't have to buy you clothes or give you extra spending money. Realize that they may not be doing it because they have to. They want to. Say thank you as ...

Let’s talk about some funny stereotypical stance we have withing ourselves in Nigeria. It’s funny how Nigerians hold certain perception about people from a state or tribe. For instance, I am from  Ogun State ,  Egba  to be precise and many people believe the  Egbas love women . Funny enough, myself and some people I know in my tribe are holy oo, we no too dey chase women like that, even if dem rush us we no dey do 😂 Now, this is to all Naijaloadites, tell us 👇 What Is The Most Annoying Assumption That People Have About Your Tribe/State? Drop your comment

Here are 9 simple self-care ideas and tips on how to be happy by practicing compassion and loving yourself — every single day. 1. Honor the sun At some point in the morning, even on the way to work, face the sun and take a few minutes to simply stand still for a moment and feel its warmth. Envision it flowing into your mind, heart and body, and send its light wherever you feel the need for healing. 2. Show gratitude for water When you splash your face after you wake up, pause to consider the stream of water passing through your hands. Honor the marriage of nature and technology that carries this life-giving flow from reservoirs and wells, through pipes, and into your home. 3. Appreciate nature Hold a clump of dirt in your hand — from a potted plant, a garden, or under your favorite tree. Feel the grounding life force of Mother Earth and appreciate the natural cycle of seed, blossom, fruit, decay, death and rebirth. 4. Savor your favorite cup of tea or coffee Even if yo...

       A-list Yoruba actress and producer, Dayo Amusa, has expressed her displeasure with the way people see the world as belonging to men. In an Instagram post, the actress who just released her third cinema movie ‘That Which Binds Us’ vented her frustration on why women don’t get as much opportunities to succeed as men.       “Women have to work much harder to make it in this world. It really pisses me off that women don’t get the same opportunities as men do, or money for that matter. Because let’s face it, money gives men the power to run the show. It gives men the power to define our values and to define what’s sexy and what’s feminine and that’s bullshit.        At the end of the day, it’s not about equal rights, it’s about how we think. We have to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves,” she said. Of course, her post drew many comments from many of her followers. One Babajide gave her a shot of reality chec...