Long Distance Relationship Problems

By Abdulkadir Rafiat

         Every person at one point in their lives will be able to experience a long distance relationship but if you are one of the few people who won’t then you are lucky! It is obviously not easy being in a relationship, let alone a long distance one where you and your partner are a thousand miles apart, but if you are with the right person then chances are it will not be difficult.      

                 Every relationship has its ups and downs, it is not all rainbows and butterflies, and it is especially difficult to mend problems if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend have distance in between, but never fret! As you read on below, you will be able to know that these “downs” in your relationships are very common.

1. Miscommunication

              You cannot have less of it nor you can have more of it. Communication must be balanced and without it, your relationship is destined to doom. Sometimes, you will feel like you and your partner are not talking enough or the opposite of that, with your partner hitting your phone up every minute – both are not good indicators of a healthy relationship.

       Your partner is your confidante so you should be able to tell him or her the way you really feel. Do not be afraid and do not bottle up your feelings because if he or she really loves you, then he or she will understand. If you are not comfortable with your partner hanging out with a particular person then do not hesitate to relate that to him or her. If your partner is now willing to share his or her problems with you because he or she doesn’t want to bother you, then make your partner feel that you are open to helping.

2. Jealousy
            It is completely normal to feel the green-eyed monster, also known as jealousy, inside you. Never give in to the green-eyed monster. If there is no reason for you to be jealous then do not be jealous! Trust your partner enough to not think about made up issues in your mind. If you pick at every detail like “Why did she text him if he has the reports?” or “Why is he making that project with her?” then you will never be able to rest. Do not give motives to people who don’t have them. The important thing to do in order to ward off the green-eyed monster is to not feed it

3. Loneliness
          Loneliness is a dear old friend who comes by every once in a while but in long distance relationships, loneliness is sometimes not very welcome. There will be times when loneliness will visit you but this is a very common thing to feel. Loneliness is there because your partner is not with you. If you look at the positive side, you may be feeling lonely because you long for the love that you feel when your partner is there with you.

          There can be many causes of loneliness. It may be because you and your partner live in different time zones therefore when he or she is asleep, you are wide awake and having breakfast. It may also be because of busy work schedules because even if you two are in a relationship, you are still two different people, or it can even be one of the simplest reasons – you just miss your partner.

4. Drifting apart
          Some relationships have broken because the two people who used to be in love have “drifted apart”. The process of drifting apart is like a snowball rolling down the hill. At first, it starts out small and then it rolls all the way down into one giant snowball ready to trash any relationship in its way.

             It can something as small as returning your messages very late or not returning your messages at all, then progressing to cancelled date plans or video chats, not picking up calls, and then suddenly your partner will just contact you and tell you about one of the most overused cliches in romance history: “It’s not you, it’s me” or “I think the distance between us made us drift apart.”

5. Time
           Time is sometimes an unfair rival because it is something that you cannot fight against. Sometimes people in a long distance relationship are so caught up in their own lives that they forget to spend time with their partners. Other people are so worked with their careers that they forget to make time in their busy schedules for their loved ones. This does not only happen to couples but also to families and friends, unfortunately.

               Time is even a more difficult opponent if your partner lives continents away and you two are divided by different time zones. It can be quite a problem to keep up with communicating especially if you are at work the whole day and when you call your partner, he or she is already asleep. The lack of communicating may lead to mistrust and even to jealousy. Nobody would want to wake up the green-eyed monster.

6. Trust issues
           It is very understandable for the distance to make you feel paranoid about your partner. There are cases when people are just starting their relationships out and they are thrown into this whirlwind called life with them ending up at different poles apart. They were not able to spend enough with each other to get to know each other and establish a stronger foundation of trust. There are even times when a person falls in love with someone he or she met online. The lack of connections and the growing numbers between two people can cause mistrust.